a lot of things are happening.
my 2 housemates are planning to move out (one of them is already bidding in the housing market, and the other wants to move closer to his job) by the end of the month. Need to find new roommates, need to do a major house cleaning, need to talk to the landlord about terms of lease renewal.
Trying to expand my skill set. Applying for new jobs. Committing to a fitness goal.
I have a lot on my plate right now, and sometimes it feels like everything is running like clockwork and other times it feels like the rug has been pulled from beneath me and everything becomes too much to handle.
Typical life stuff that needs to run its course.
Had a really vivid dream last night. Left me feelin’ weird.
it’s been a long time, tumblr.
had an awful week at work, and with thanksgiving coming up, i just had to hash this out on tumblr. you know, to put things in perspective.
Looking back on this year (so far), here are some things I should be proud of:
1. owned up to MY mistake and paid $900 for it. Lesson Learned: NEVER drive someone else’s car. even when they say it’s okay. even when they’re your significant other. and if you happen to do so- make sure they are FULLY COVERED.
2. did a big girl thing and shelled out $660 for a muthafuckin’ TIMING BELT replacement. ugh. WHAT EVEN IS THAT. BUT SO NECESSARY. GOOD BYE FINE LEATHER GOODS.
3. bank acct. is more or less where I was a year ago.
BUT considering the fact that I went on a roadtrip with great high school friends through portland, hiked through crater lake, experienced pike’s market, rolled up to macklemore’s highschool,ate at Dick’s burgers, hiked through multnomah falls, and had a week long of adventures and fun with some of the best people i know - I consider it breaking even.
4. AND the fact that i finally upgraded my bed from a twin to a ~ QUEEN~ OH GOD THE LUXURY. THANKS 23 YEAR OLD SELF. (big girl decisions here, obv. )
5. Splurging here and there. no, i probably didn’t NEED that really cute leather backpack from madewell, but YOU KNOW. no, i probably didn’t NEED corduroy pants, but YOU KNOW. This is as close to luxury as i can get for now.
and i consider it breaking even. i’m thankful for everything i have, and the people who are in my life. i’m satisfied with where i am now because i know that i’m making moves for bigger things to come in 2014.
Because the best anyone can say to a stranger is ” I hope it all works out” .
it’s hard to believe what a string of bad luck and occurrences that have been happening to me this month.
it’s time to get out of this rut. something good please happen to me. please please please.
Roadtripping from sf - crater lake - Portland - Seattle - Vancouver during Labor Day week.
Excited to explore.
“You think relationships are difficult? Try friendships. Try courting someone in order to convince them to join you in some nameless, shapeless Platonic complication — forever. Convince an adult stranger that you are worth a healthy slice of their limited time and energy without the prize of sex or romance.”
-Laura Jayne Martin
he just happens to be that ONE person in my life.
that ONE person, who you compare yourself to. comparing your current successes and achievements to his. he is a living reminder of everything you were and could be, and always wanted to be. he just seems to be always 10 steps ahead - and you’re always 5 steps behind. always.
it’s that feeling that you can’t see him in person until you achieve the greatness you want to achieve and accomplish. he’s always going to be that fucking reminder of who you were when you started, and the past you, who had all these dreams and feels. it’s both rejuvenating and also destructive.
it’s so crazy how people can fall back into your life so easily- and vice versa.
it’s really weird- but i think having him as this figure in my life is a necessity.